How it feels when you conquer that fear that has been haunting you? Well, let me tell you…
A little over a week ago I was super lost with my Ultra training. I was just afraid of the distance like I wrote here before. The fear wasn’t going anywhere.
Then all of sudden I got tired of that feeling, and I knew exactly what I need to do. I needed to run further than ever before to kick that useless fear to the side and start believing in myself again.
When I made that decision it was a Monday night. I knew that on the next day I would do this, giving myself no extra time to think. Before the longest I’d ran was 28,8km, so I made a goal of running 30km.
Tuesday morning I woke up. Nervous but excited. I ate breakfast while watching videos with my favorite Ultra runners, Sally Mcrae and Antony Krupicka for an extra kick of inspiration. While watching, I got emotional and started wondering if that emotion was because deep down I knew that this isn’t what I’m supposed to do. Or maybe it was because it was exactly the thing I am meant to do. That was the question on my mind when I stepped out of the door.
Off I went. Keeping in mind to just run. Nothing else. Take it easy. You got this!
It had been really long since the last run that I truly enjoyed the feeling and just ran. I just kept going forward. Giving myself positive feedback all the time. I also employed a super useful trick that I learnt from Kara Gouchers book, I counted the kilometers down…all of sudden I was at only 10km left.
The moment I went over a bridge and looked down as my watch showed me that I had completed 30km was insane! I teared up and just said out loud to myself that “You did it!”. I was (and I am) so proud of myself! I needed that run so badly. And now I know the answer to that nagging question… I really am meant to do this, to go after my Ultra dreams.
This run was exactly what I needed to get my head to a better place. It made me believe in myself again, which is needed when your goal is something like mine.
Now running long distance feels like the thing I need again. In a way I need that suffering , it clears your head and gives you a completely clean slate. And obviously that winning feeling!
So, I challenge you all…go after those dreams and show yourself how much more you are capable of. It’s more than you think!